My On-Again, Off-Again Obsession - Wattpad

I'm usually the friend who claims electronic books are for suckers. Nothing beats browsing the bookstore for hours on end, sipping a cup of coffee and choosing which books to bring home. And let's not forget the smell. The aroma of a fresh-off-the-print book is pure bliss. And sure, I'm most likely inhaling the mesh of chemicals used to treat paper, but who stinking cares?

Anywho, I have a confession to make.

I possess an on-again, off-again obsession with Wattpad - a site featuring electronic books.

Yes, I know. I can't smell the pages, but I deal.

I say on-again, off-again because every few months I simply forget about the site and become caught up in the tangible books I can actually add to my collection.

Nonetheless, if you've unfamiliar with this site, although I highly doubt you are, it's an online writing community to post stories, poems, and fan-fiction. And many of these stories are the real freaking deal. These writers have huge followings, millions upon millions of readers, tons of reviews, awesome covers, YouTube trailers and some even go on to be published! There's even online awards for the best books called "The Wattys."

I don't care if these writers are considered "undiscovered" to the publishing world, they are hot shots on Wattpad.

When I first discovered Wattpad, I didn't think the original stories would be all that read worthy ... but I was proved wrong. Granted, every now and then you must sift through stories to find the true gems, however it isn't that difficult. You're able to filter your selections.

Sometimes you'll run into the Christian Grey wannabes or smut filled novels, but if you're not into those stories just keep on scrolling, my friends. Also, you may become invested in a book and find out the author hasn't posted in ages!! That's why I search only "completed" stories. Just a heads up there.

Still, don't worry. There's something for everyone on Wattpad. However, I'm not going to lie, I'd never post a story on there. Why?

• Thieves Do Exist. 
• Literary Agents Aren't Too Thrilled About Stories That Have Been Posted Online. But I've Heard Many of Them Read The Stories Too ... HYPOCRITES! ;-)
• Some Criticism from Reviewers are Unnecessarily Harsh and Can Discourage You. 

So, if I were you, I'd just READ ... NOT POST!

Still, I love Wattpad.

*Swoon*

Dream With Fear or Faith?

"Faith will take you where fear won't let you go."

That was the title of the sermon my Auntie Joyce preached. To say it has stuck with me for the better part of two months now would be quite the understatement. When I began attempting to live by this statement and apply it not just spiritually but to every other avenue of my life, I realized something about myself. This entire year I've been held captive to fear instead of free in faith. The doubts, insecurities, second guessing, and underestimating myself was just a self inflicted tactic produced by fear to set me back--that's how I look at it anyway.

I touched on this briefly in a previous post but I didn't spend too much time expressing my innermost feelings and all that jazz. Essentially, this year I put off the querying process simply because I was fearful that I would have a repeat of my last run. Even though during that time I was less experienced, less knowledgeable, busy going to college and juggling two jobs, and my novel had not undergone that serious nip and tuck sort of revision. I was pretty much just a little bitty baby novice and now well...it's been two years. I should know a little something by now, right? Lol and I do.

So in the past few months I've realized that in any situation, not just writing wise, if I wait until I deem myself absolutely ready to do something then I'll be waiting for the rest of my life. Not many people are ever ready to launch out into what they consider the deep and dark part of the waters, but the launching has the take place some time or another. Whether you're facing difficult circumstances concerning career/education goals, financial setbacks, personal goals, family issues, challenging relationships, or just dealing with the usual curve balls life tends to throw at you keeping a positive mindset is key. It may be easier said than done, but it's true. Folks with big dreams need to recognize that struggles and disappointments are inevitable but discouragement and quitting is a choice.

But I'm human. We all are. So sometimes I get down and wonder if my dream career as a YA and new adult fiction writer will ever come to pass. Will I ever have a final revision that's good enough? Will my critique partners ever say "don't change a thing"? And why does success have to take so doggone long? And these questioning and doubt then transforms into outright fear. When that moment comes for me to shine or present my work, I get timid. Why? Because I don't want to hear the harsh criticism. Or I'm afraid a person will tear it to pieces.

But frankly, I'm sick of being scared. Screw fear. I'm operating on faith now. And I've told myself before that I have faith that things will work out and yada yada yada, but it wasn't until the concept of "faith will take you where fear won't let you go" that it actually sunk in. I just sat down one day and made a list of the results of fear and the results of faith. It is shared below.

FEAR

Suppresses our thinking and behavior

Limits creativity

Develops bad habits & stress

Weakens our resolve

Cripples growth

Robs peace & happiness

Limits prosperity

Chokes us with doubt

Creates procrastination

Causes insecurities

Defers dreams

Halts success

Undermines destiny

Lies

Regrets

Kills faith

FAITH

Invokes spiritual and intellectual growth
Motivates creativity to become artistry
Promotes positivity
Inherits promises & expectations
Strengthens our commitments
Cements your peace and happiness
Sees unmeasurable success
Creates belief in self
Demands action
Promotes truth and hope
Knows no doubt
Defends your unquestionable belief
Is a Free Thinker
Values loyalty

Instills curiosity and thirst for more
Kills FEAR

Crazy Sick Talk with my Characters

I want to blame my two week absence on the Cardinals disgracing my city and losing in the World Series (grrrrrr, talk about devastation to the core...and a waste of money on all that daggone party food!), but I've been incredibly sick and am finally starting to feel like myself again. Bronchitis, sinusitis, and a stomach virus all decided to ransack me simultaneously. I've never experienced such a sucky sickness in my entire life...but then again I always say that when I'm sick. Just like I always say "this is the best cake I've had in my entire life" whenever I eat great cake.

And yanno', I swear teaching grade school children is like a death trap. The little sweetums are always sick! And they aren't very good at grabbing a tissue versus their sleeve, covering their coughs, using hand sanitizer, and the like. Yet I still adore them and their potent germs.

So, whilst laying up like a dead woman I had loads of time to talk to my characters, fantasize about perfect future scenarios (believe me, all ladies in their 20s do this) and read the Bible...while feeling a tad guilty for taking notes for my novel instead of my personal journal but hey, stuff happens. Jesus knows I totally love Him and will spend extra time with Him this week. Anyway, back to the characters bit...

Obviously I've done the whole character sketches, picking through their personalities, appearance, traits, habits and so on, and simply letting them take up residence in my head while I listen and observe. As well, I've been through the interviewing, discovering, and analyzing processes.

Essentially, I know my folks pretty well....but I still like to talk to them. Sometimes they talk to one another. Or I envision them meeting my family and friends. I make up fun, sad, serious, dangerous, happy, ridiculous, or whatever situations and sort out how each of my characters would respond or say in such circumstances. Is that too eccentric? Am I the only one who enjoys the company of their own characters or should I say further exploring them? Good Lord...that sounds a bit psycho for folks who don't understand fiction writing, but it's the truth for me.

If I tell you I was the only person holed up in my bedroom while I was sick I'd be telling you a boldfaced lie. One night I even fell asleep talking to my characters and proceeded to have a dream about them with me in it! And HELLO! Let's just say I totally have a crush on the male love interest in my book now. I'm just sayin! Logan is a charmer in person....or in dream, whatever. No wonder he's a lady killer. But anyway yeah. It. Was. Freaking. AWESOME! My imagination was on overload during this sickness and no lie...my characters made it fly by so fast. I now possess a greater love for them because they kept me company when no other human being wanted to be around sick ole' contagious me. And below is how I feel about those people now, hmph! ;-)

Can anyone else relate to me here? Am I the only one who treats my characters like living, breathing, running around, having a good time real folks?

Brainstom. Outline. Organize. Write.

I'm not going to lie.
I'm a bit scatterbrained.
I know, I know, I know.
What can I say? Stuff happens.
Heck, blame the bloodline.

Externally, I'm a pretty neat and tidy person. My living quarters stay clean. I don't like messy areas. I hate weird odors. I can't cook or bake in a disgusting kitchen. I like my hair and makeup a certain way. I just like a nice, sweet candle scented area that also happens to be immaculate. Can you blame me?

But on the inside...honey baby chiiilllddd, I am a stanky hot mess. Especially when my creative juices flow. I'm talking ideas crashing into one another. Light bulbs exploding here and there. Ah ha! Moments popping up like freaking grasshoppers. No lie, it's nuts.

During the brainstorming phase of producing ideas for my novel I jotted down notes on whatever was available--phone, laptop, napkin, whatever. Those notes consisted of major details about my characters, the premise, difficulties to overcome, plot twists, main events, and so on. This exercise typically occurred after my college classes at a local café I frequented. Yes, I worked on my novel instead of writing a paper or studying for an exam. Bad student, I know. After enough brainstorming I really tried to get an idea of the desires I had for my novel. The themes, genre, target audience, how events will affect my characters, what will the setting be, do I want to make a career out of this and so on.

Then came my outline phase. I did a bit of research and learned not all writers feel the need to create outlines before diving into the actual writing of the manuscript. Some writers prefer an outline simply to have a guide. Something that will keep them on track without limiting their novel's possibilities, of course. It's perfectly okay to make changes to the outline whilst writing. It's normal to get more or better ideas when you really get into your story.

Now organizing my outline was pretty simple....well, kind of. First I went into deep detail for each of my characters. Then I listed their names again and provided short sentences, no more than 15 words, for each along with a possible quote. I spent a lot of time on my characters because I know a great fiction book is character driven. Sucky Characters = Sucky Book. Honestly, have you heard of The Joker? Pure awesomeness. I then expanded on the premise, setting, stakes, plot, definitions for certain artifacts, terms, or special items.

And really, a novel outline is just like a long list of stuff needing an explanation. That's it. Not all writers must create an outline before the actual writing, but I do simply because I like to hurry up and get my ideas into a saved document. And at the time I was a beginner. And like I said before, it's not mean to limit your novel's possibilities or restrict your creativity, it's just a guide. Like an organized tool to help you along the way. You don't have to stick with it. There is nothing in the heavenly sent writer's rulebook that states you cannot make changes to your outline.

After all this I felt comfortable enough to start writing. And what's so beautiful is that I wrote my entire novel within months. I was so excited and gung-ho about the whole thing that I cranked out 160k words in less than one semester of college. If I wasn't working, in class, or doing homework my face was glued to the laptop screen with my fingers typing away. Now, I wasn't that excited when the revision stages began but hey, it is what it is.

So that's how the writing of my novel started. I brainstormed, outlined, organized my ideas, and got down to writing. It's okay to spend a lot of time on those first three stages but you have to start writing some time. Don't get too hooked on making your outline perfect, it's not that big of a deal. Like I said, it's just a tool to help you stay on track and keep your ideas from being forgotten.

Wednesday Revelation--Novel Confession #02

I'm late. I know. I'm so sorry. Ugh, #BloggerFail

Anyway, let's launch into the Novel Confession for this week...Unfortunately there's some backstory here. Sorry, I know how much us authors absolutely loathe the backstory dump! This post will be long. Can't say I didn't warn you.

Out of all four of my siblings I've always been the most eccentric one out the bunch. I've gone through so many fashion phases, makeup trends, tried out several different personalities (I was nuts, I know), faked accents for months at a time, and just had a straight up crazy, fun loving time getting lost and finding myself in the process.

Throughout my changes the one thing I've always remained true to is my deep fascination with the spiritual and supernatural elements in this world. Growing up my eyes always widened when I learned of the mind blowing miracles Jesus performed, the Angels and their messenger moments, the Rapture and days of Tribulation talk in the Book of Revelation, the tales of soothsayers and no good spiritists in the Bible, Satan trying to tempt Jesus (I know right? What the heck was that older than dirt idiot Lucifer smoking?!), and all the demon stuff.

Yeah...I was that weird kid. But I never got a Ouija Board, HECK NO! That's pushing it. I always told myself I'd never cross that thin line.

That all being unnecessarily said, whilst writing one of my later chapters my mother kept nit picking at me about my WIP. And I was ticked! She didn't really know anything about my novel. She had never read a page of it. She was already against the urban fantasy with biblical symbolism idea even though she just looovvveeddd Chronicles of Narnia and Lord of the Rings. And I just felt like I didn't need her input when she'd already kicked my novel to the side. Essentially, my mom had this random notion that my book was becoming too dark and twisted. That I was teetering on the edge of something unholy. This is how I viewed her...

But unlike that lady above my mom was actually right. Duh, she's ALWAYS right.

The chapter I wrote was borderline disturbing. It had a very dark and brutal undertone to it. Bottom line, it was demonic. And after writing it I didn't feel like myself. I had this odd idea to research demon hierarchies--something I never would have thought of doing. Bizarre, right? I'm all down for conducting research for novels but I'm not down for dabbling.

Now, I'm not going to lie. The chapter was darn good and I was totally digging it...but it wasn't representing God and it certainly wasn't what he requires of me and my gift. Instead it was glorifying evil. If another writer had written that chapter I would have thought, "woah, this chick is obviously dabbling in some daaarrk stuff." Although I knew this I refused to change it. Hardheaded, I know.

So one night after my mother had prayer she came to talk to me and said, "God told me you just wrote something evil and you need to delete it and start over. It's ungodly and it's too dark. Whatever it is, change it. Now." Did I listen to mom? Nope. I brushed her off like a pesky gnat. I was angry and in denial. I went to bed with a bitter taste in my mouth.

That night I dreamt of an Angel adorned in a white so brilliantly bright that my eyes strained to even look up at him. I just laid in my bed while this huge warrior like Angel took up my entire room and was saying something to me that I could not understand. His mouth kept moving in a language so foreign and a voice so thunderous that they had to have been divine. It was almost as if he was chastising me, but I just couldn't comprehend the scolding. Towards the end of this dream he pressed his heavy hand to my forehead and FINALLY spoke in English. He said, "don't look up demons."

And before I could speak to him I was awake with my eyes glued to where he'd just stood. I felt like I'd just been transported from dream world to the real world within the blink of an eye. And the message was so clear too. His last line continued to replay in my mind and I couldn't get what my mother said out of my head. So you know what I did next?

I deleted that chapter and wrote it over! Yah darn skippy I did! I was freaked out! Scared! Totally not trying to get on God's bad side. I also rid of those stupid ideas regarding demon research and never wrote anything else without asking God to write with me. Mom was so right and when I told her of this dream she simply smirked and said, "I told yah so!"

God really does have His Angels watching over His children....even the hardheaded ones like me.